Have you lost your "MoJo?" Feeling insecure and less able to take chances? When our self-confidence is compromised it can be devastating, and keeps us stuck in a fearful and emotionally uncomfortable place.
“Mrs. Doubtyourself” is the name I give that voice in your head that is your voice of doubt. If you listen to it, it will keep you from moving forward. It is important to identify it for what it is, push it aside, and let your confident voice take over. Once you know the enemy (Mrs. Doubtyourself) you can more easily defeat it. It is paramount to understand that this voice speaks to everyone, as we all have self-doubt.
The first step to getting your MoJo back is to try to pinpoint when and why you lost it. It could be as a writer you got a rejection letter, or didn’t get the job you wanted, or you got fired. It is very important to be honest with yourself, take full responsibility for any part you had in something being less than successful. However, you must be careful how you speak to yourself.
Most of us are down right mean to ourselves when we suffer a set-back. We say things to ourselves that we would never say to someone else. It’s one thing to explore the different ways you could have handled certain situations, and quite another to emotionally abuse yourself. The collateral damage of listening to the negative self talk is, the loss of self-confidence, trepidation about the future and fear of trying for fear of failing. The strong loud voice of “Mrs. Doubtyourself” can always be heard over the softer voice of “Ms. Self-assured.” What makes this voice so powerful and dangerous, is we believe it speaks the truth. The fact is, it is not, it’s simply the voice of our greatest insecurities and fears.
It is helpful to take stock of your personal assets and a full inventory of your successes and triumphs. We certainly need to be accountable for our actions and choices, but we do ourselves a great disservice when we only focus on the mistakes we’ve made and ignore all our achievements and accomplishments. It is also beneficial to take the emotion out of our failures and simply examine different ways we could have handled situations, and work on better strategies in the future. Having a sense of humor about it is a great coping tool as well!
The way we win, is to learn when we lose. Building self-confidence can be done by simply tracking and embracing the smallest of every day successes. If we examine the obstacles and adversity we’ve overcome in the past, it will serve to remind us we are smart, competent and capable. That is why we have to be careful of what we say to ourselves, because what we say is what we believe and what we ultimately become. Your words and thoughts are your power and they can either help you or hurt you. We can either become a casualty of our negative thoughts, or the beneficiary of our most positive thoughts! You pick!
“Watch your Thoughts, for they become words. Watch your words, for they become actions.
Watch your actions, for they become habits. Watch your Habits, for they become character.
Watch your Character, for it becomes your Destiny.” Frank Outlaw